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Monday, September 13, 2010

Where do I want to be in five years?

A telemarketer for an online college asked me that. I didn't answer him, because he was a telemarketer. But I assume as I set up more interviews, I may have to actually answer that question, and because every interviewing website on the planet tells me I can't be funny at my interview, I might have to cough off a real answer. The logic of not being funny at an interview is that often you think you're funny, but other people don't. But I know other people don't think I'm funny. I think I'm funny, its why I'm the one laughing. But, in the spirit of getting a job, here's a list of things I wont be saying when my interviewer asks me where I see myself in five years:

"I'll be less than thirty, but more than twenty-five."
"I plan on building up some maternity leave over the next couple of years, and then just riding it out as long as I can." (I'm pretty sure mentioning anything about aspirations to start a family is a no-no. Which is funny, because its the same way in my home...)
"I'm going to have your job."
"I don't have any room for improvement, so I'll probably just continue doing what I'm doing."
"I wont be here, that's for sure."
"I don't know where I'll be, but if I'm still here working this job, I'll probably be bitter."

Alright, well, hopefully that got it out of my system. I make a notoriously bad first impression, which is why I have to turn to interviewing websites for guidance.
The websites say that if you don't have a five year plan, you'll look lazy. But the thing is, I AM lazy. My ideal work environment is a place where I don't actually have to work. And thats the kind of crap I say at interviewers, which is why I still see myself applying for jobs in five years...

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