In defense of Game Day Light

In an attempt to prove that there must be SOMETHING to appreciate about Game Day Light, we decided to attempt the Beer Can Chicken project. The simple (and ridiculously cheap) recipe was as follows: 

Chicken from Nugget Market (99 cents/lb)

 Brown Sugar (negligible cost) 

Beer can stand from Grocery Outlet (2.99)

 One can on Game Day Light (25 cents)

We played with our food a little. This is the before picture, it makes me cringe, but I love it. We baked the chicken in the oven for about an hour and a half. Our house reeked of booze. We had to light a candle, but then it just smelled like apple blossom farts. I would suggest not lighting a candle, and just rolling with the booze-y smell.   

This meal would have easily fed four people. The end result was a crispy, moist, delicious chicken. We served it with Spanish rice. Incredibly easy, very cheap, and most importantly, appreciated.

Take that cynic critics!

Side note: next time, I would put down tin foil to catch the drippings. that pan will never be the same. 

Experimenting with Okra

If my plan to take over Delilah's job when she retires doesn't work out, I think I might have to be a take gross pictures of food professionally. The food itself is never gross, but all my pictures are. Remember Bob Evans?

Well, last night and the night before, we experimented with cooking Okra. Now, everyone says cooking Okra is tricky, and there a chance it'll end up all slimy if you don't do it just right, but every Okra recipe on earth involves bacon, so I figured the benefits outweighed the risks. Our first night we cooked fried Okra, fried in what, you ask? Bacon drippings and shortening of course! The Okra taste was kind of lost in all that corn meal and bacon grease, but it was still good. Kind of like fried clam strips; same texture.

The second night we had smothered okra, which still involves bacon grease, but also includes diced tomatoes, garlic, and hot sauce. This was the winner over the two nights. It was easier to cook than the fried was, and you could really taste the okra. And judging by the seven billion recipes on the Internet, anything that you might have laying around the refrigerator is fair game.


So, thank you, really cheap okra stand at the Davis Farmer's Market, for introducing a new vegetable into our home.

Home Ecomonics..

After a less-than-enriching experience in high school with home economics I decided that a do-over might be a good idea. So, when I found myself left alone for two weeks, I switched up my normal eat-crap-and-watch-crap bachelorette routine and I used this opportunity to learn what other people my age might consider common sense. I've focused on healthy eating, and maintaining a clean house. I'm half way through my two weeks by myself, and I've learned a few things.

For starters, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers are actually magic. No asterisk needed. And the store brand Magic Erasers work just as well. They wipe away stuff that bleach won't even get rid of, which leads me to believe that Mr. Clean Magic Erasers are pretty darn toxic. And in a related revelation-- Don't get Mr. Clean Magic Eraser dust in your eyes. That shit burns like a bitch. For hours.

Another thing I learned is that tofu is good once you quit trying to make it taste like meat. This seems to be a common mis-step-- I don't know what your grocer told you, but Tofu isn't meat, and its never going to taste like meat, so stop it.

Also, My mom's Greek recipes aren't all impossible, but they ARE all wicked bad for my health. Even the green beans and potato dish, which is vegan, is bad for me. That's right, Greeks can even make vegan food give you a heart attack.

Lastly, I have a tendency to save up all my cleaning until the last second, and then break into a marathon clean, and as it turns out that's a stupid idea-- I've got to cut that out.

Plus, I look wicked cute in an apron.

A Girl of Great Expectations

When I was in highschool I took a course called 'Nutrition'. The point of the course was to teach highschool students how to cook. In retrospect, the only thing I remember learning was how to use a microwave, and we watched a short dramatic video about bulimia. I can see they had high hopes for me.

Say Yes to Depressed

I know I've mentioned TLC's show 'Say Yes to the Dress' before, but today was a rainy Saturday afternoon, and I got pulled in again. Four hours of bride-brawling television later and I find myself feeling pretty bummed. As well as fat, poor, and alone. God Bless Television.

In honor of such feelings, its time for another edition of Bachelor(ette) Cooking, or: Cooking for One, Eating enough for Four. Today's dinner dish: Pierogies with bacon and vegetables.

This is a one skillet meal, deh. For starters, you'll want the following:

Frozen Pierorgies
Frozen Vegetables
Bacon
Canned Tomato Sauce

First, heat the skillet and add the bacon, once the bacon is cooked, remove and add pierogies and vegetables. Cut the bacon up into little pieces and put it back into the pan. It'll finish cooking in just a few minutes. Lastly, add a few tablespoons of sauce to the pan, it doesn't take more than a minute for the sauce to heat up. Now, when plating, I suggest using a clean plate. You're eating by yourself, so it doesn't really matter if eat off of dirty dishes or not, but hey, treat yourself right. And, enjoy. You fat, lonely slob.

Dear BHG...

Dear Better Homes and Gardens...

Here is my abbreviated beef with you:

Your food makes my stomach turn. I know that my bachelor recipe for 'mac and cheese and bacon' wasn't exactly beautiful, but your cheeseburger ice cream sandwich should be against the law. And your 'Bestever Casseroles' are desperate. Since when does adding pickled artichokes to tuna make it gourmet? And another thing: goulash is not 'speedy lasagna casserole'. Its just Goulash. And these were your 'Best Ever'?? What on earth were you peddling as regular old daily casseroles?! And your photographer should be cuffed. Even with the super washed-out style that is used in every single image to make it look 'clean' or whatever the desired effect is, the food still looks day old and gross.

And another thing: Your bedroom decor ideas are all nautical themed. What if I have a fear of boats? or drowning? or sharks? I'd never get to sleep in your 'Room with a view' theme, or your 'beach cottage casual' or your 'beach bliss' designs. What if I live Utah? Also, Martha Stewart called, she wants her color scheme back. And so on, and so forth, you get my point.

More like Worst Homes and Gardens. Burn.