Reversed Racism

Earlier this week one of my Asian co-workers reminded me to follow up with the patient I'd been helping earlier. Except I hadn't helped anyone earlier; I had just signed onto my shift. She thought she was talking to my other blonde co-worker. I was finally able to shout, "You people think we all look alike, don't you!" without irony.

Ohhh nuts.

I was on a mission today to clean our Apartment. I vacuumed, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned the stove top and the counters, and right after doing all the dishes, I remembered we have a dishwasher. I spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch.

Miscommunication

Its not often that I actually try to look like an ignorant racist, it usually just happens.

I love the nail salon next to my apartment complex. Its run by two ridiculously nice Asian women. I went in there one time the first week we were in Davis, and when I walked in yesterday, they remembered me. Thats all it takes to be 'ridiculously nice' as far as I'm concerned.

One of the girls, Kaylee, makes excellent small talk. She asked me what I was doing for the holidays, and when I told her I was going to the East Coast to visit my family she told me her family lives in Buthan. I thought, thats cool. I've heard of Buthan. Couldn't point it out on a map, but I've heard of it. I'm assuming its someplace in Asia, thats probably safe bet. Well, as it turns out, she was saying "Boston". Her mom and dad live in Boston. She's actually from New Hampshire. Which, along with being one of those "wow, it's a small world" things, also explains why she had such a terrible grasp on the English Language.

Wait. Theres more.

At my new job, I spend a good chunk of my day working in retail. Which, if you didn't already know, means that I deserve about the same amount of respect you'd give a used Kleenex. At least thats the case in Davis.

But its not like the people don't care about anything around here. At the very least, they care a lot about looking like they care a lot. They are, after all, wearing a bracelet that shows they donated a dollar to help provide clean water to a village in Africa. But that doesn't mean they'll look me in the face.

And to be fair, not everyone around here is like that, even. Some people's condescending nature is so deeply embedded that they don't even know that they're being condescending. For example: Without fail, at some point during my work day-- usually immediately after a customer finds out I'm a college graduate, and not just some trashy bum(although let it be known that there is no trash in Davis. We all recycle)-- I get "the look". The "what did you do so wrong in your life that you ended up here?" look. Which is suppose to be sympathy, but its like going to the Zoo and pitying the monkeys. You don't actually feel bad for those monkeys, but you want people to think you do; you want the monkeys to think you do. The truth is, you love seeing the monkeys there in their cages, throwing feces. It makes you feel good about yourself. You hardly ever throw feces.


This week, I had a guy tell me that he used to be a construction worker, but now he's an undergraduate, studying English. I said, "I have my Bachelors in English. Looking at me is kind of like looking into the future. All of this could be yours." And he gave me a look like that was the worst thing I ever could have said to him.

Aren't we just adorable?

The short answer: Yes.

Tonight Michael and I had a few ideas that may make us rich. So, I'm going to go ahead and say copyright all over the post. and all other posts, for that matter.

Are you Ready? Ok.

We've thought of inventing fart-proof light beer. Mainly for the excellent commercials it will surely bring. Just think, just like Coke Zero has a small 'Splenda' logo on it's can, Bud Light could someday have its own 'Beano' logo. Yeah, He's getting his PhD, and just happens to be wicked smart.

Second, we've come up with a store called "Beer, Bath, and Beyond" Which is exactly like Bed Bath and Beyond, but with a bar. Just imagine a kitchen and bath store where you can also get a beer.

Yeah, I realize that both our genius ideas involve cheap ways to increase consumer spending and alcohol consumption, but contrary to common belief, the stuff does not sell itself. They're not cigarettes, you know.

My Day Off

I cherish my time off. Time to sleep in late, watch tv, and potentially do other things.

Todays 'other things' included going to Woodland and trying to find work-appropriate clothing. I had planned on going to Marshalls, but I was distracted by a thrift store across the street. So, I went there instead.

I'd like to tell you I go to these places for the people watching, and although it WAS excellent people watching, I go to these places because I'm ridiculously cheap, and I don't feel like my work clothes are worth paying full price. Also, I can shamelessly listen to 90s soft rock while I shop. Walking into a super-sized thrift store is a lot like traveling back to the 90s. Beyond Boys to Men on the loud speaker, there are an endless supply of old fax machines, large corded telephones, and all the women's clothing come with shoulder pads. And not the cool, fashionable shoulder pads- bit bad ass, line-backer shoulder pads. Because when I go to an interview, I want my suit to subtly say "I might tackle you."

I'm starting to see how my fashion sense could have been mistaken for that of an old man.

Spooky Scary

In case you hadn't notice, Halloween is less than a week away. Last year, I bought tons of candy. I figured we'd need it; we lived in a well-established neighborhood in the middle of town. But much to my chagrin, my elderly neighbors turned all their lights off to discourage trick or treating; a tactic that worked surprisingly well. We had left over candy until Easter. So, after that epic disappointment, I'm wondering if I should buy any candy at all. But then, theres always that very slim chance we might get totally hammered (I mean-- a lot of kids might come by. Lets be honest, theres more than just a slim chance I'm going to get hammered). Just in case, I'd better buy eight bags of candy. You know, just in case.