Focal Jokes

For those of you who appreciate a little optical-themed humor in your life, here are a few one-liners*. Feel free to try any of these out on your bitter, listless co-workers for a laugh**.

What do you call glasses that are only worn in New Hampshire?  
Live free of Die-focals

What sort of glasses did George Washington wear?                    
I can not tell a lie-focals

What glasses were worn by the Four Seasons?                          
Big Girls Don't Cry-focals

What are the worst glasses to wear to your blind date?            
That chick used to be a guy-focals

Nostalgic Buddy Holly glasses?                                                
Bye, Bye, Miss American Pie-focals

Glasses you wear to let everyone know you hate phonies?        
Catcher In The Rye-focals

Glasses that help you meet people?                                          
Don't be so shy-focals


What do you call glasses that a penguin wears?                       
I wish I could fly-focals


And Finally...


Glasses that give you a terrible idea for a Tom Cruise Movie?
The Last Samurai-focals




      Get it?! We replaced the word 'Bi' with other rhyming words!! And, yes. We think we are very funny. If you're trying to decide on which one of us (my brother or myself) is more corny, I suggest you throw on a pair of It's a Tie-focals.
      Come up with a few of your own if you think you're so great.


*I can't take credit for most of these. They were my brothers idea.
** caution: you may be the only person laughing.

A brief word on New England

If one more person says "How 'Bout this weather?" I can not be held responsible for my reaction.

Stop hitting yourself.