Böner: "Its a hard sell"

Its Re-dick-ulous!!

As much as I giggled all the way to through the check-out line and brainstormed penis jokes all the way home, after doing a little research, I almost didn't write this review. 


Böner was created after the popularity of a t-shirt with the phrase "Pop a  Böner" on it actually made people want to drink the fictitious beer being advertised (may I suggest, if you try a Google Image Search you make sure to include the word "t-shirt". And even then. Don't. Just don't.). The whole concept just seemed cheap to me; Its like when companies starting brewing Duff Beer --currently only available in South America-- so people could drink the same beer as Homer Simpson. Böner Beer sales are completely driven by cheesy jokes and marketing ploys. As the website advertises, "Watch [insert sport here] with a Böner!", "Order a stiff one!", "It's sure to get a rise out of you!". They also have the "Böner girls" who are like, forty and all greased up, and not at all boner-inducing.  


So, if all the jokes are made, why review it? I have my reasons. Its brewed by the Lion Brewery in Pennsylvania, and only distributed/marketed in Texas. Never heard of Lion Brewery? Well, they were the maker of my FAVORITE no-longer-available cheap beer Brubaker. But that's review for another day. I've attached a link to the BeerAdvocate website if you want to learn more. Teaser: It was only available at a select few bars in Boston, and it was brewed in sticky re-used bottles. My point is Lion Brewery only seems to brew cheap, obscure, poorly distributed beverages and THAT, my friends, is a beer worth reviewing.  


The beer was brand new on the market as of 2011 and is already selling at discount grocery stores for $2.99 a six pack. That doesn't seem like a great sign. My first thought was "Of course it was marketed in Texas. Stupid Texas." But to be fair, nobody doesn't like a boner joke. In fact, I vote people stop saying love is the universal language, and just agree that its actually boners.

Its a wheat beer brewed with pineapple, which breaks my streak of only reviewing American Adjunct Lagers, but it means I have to drink a pineapple flavored wheat beer, which kind of sucks.  


My first reaction, and the ruining factor for my co-reviewer Mike, was the smell. It had that apple cider vinegar smell. He couldn't finish his glass. Its yeasty, which is probably something the marketers should have considered when they were deciding on what style beer to brew and name "Böner"; super yeasty? I would have stuck with American Adjunct Lager-- everybody else is doing it. 


Terrible head, but good color. And no after taste, which was a surprise. ...This whole review is a waste. I can't stop thinking about boners.