Tuesday, January 11, 2011

How to create an awkward little girl

Today I met an eleven-year-old girl who was getting her first pair of glasses. Her mother told me that next week the girl is going to have braces put on. This means that, by next year, she'll be in the seventh grade with glasses and braces. And everyone knows that the seventh grade is single cruelest thing ever created (this list goes something like, The seventh grade, Hitler, the DMV, and so on*), and I really wanted to say something to make her feel better, because the mother had gone to the trouble to tell me she was getting braces, but all I could come up with was, "I had glasses and braces at your age. If nothing else, it'll give you a lot of material for your future comedy routine."

Its my ability to give stellar life lessons that makes me a good optometric technician. Maybe.

*I know what you're probably thinking. Hilter is eviler than the seventh grade. Well, you can just go right on believing that if you want, but all I'm saying is, Hitler had to endure the seventh grade. And if his seventh grade experience was anything like my seventh grade experience, it explains a lot of his lifestyle choices.

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