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Friday, August 20, 2010

Sexiest Men (Not) Alive

People magazine's "Sexiest Men Alive" comes out in November, but I'm going to go ahead and make my projections early: Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, David Beckham. yawn.

Truth be told though, I never found rating living people by their sexiness very interesting. I'm much more interested in how we perceive celebrities once they're dead. Because just like the perception of 'sexy' changes over the years (Mel Gibson won 'sexiest man' in 1985, the first year People ran the issue-- gross), our public perception of the dead changes with time. People adored Elvis Presley, I imagine in 1977 he probably would have won a 'sexiest man (not) alive' competition, but now he's just kind of a fat joke. So, here it is, I opted against a rating system in favor of superlatives, subject to change:

Kimberly's 2010 Dead Sexy List:

James Dean - Taken-before-his-time Sexy
Frank Sinatra - Taken-way-after-his-time Sexy
Marlon Brando - I-didn't-even-know-that-guy-was-dead Sexy
Patrick Swayze - Too soon? Sexy
Cary Grant - Classic movie Sexy
Johnny Cash - Hot-Mess Sexy
And the wild card:
Michael Jackson - Let's-only-remember-the-good-times Sexy

I would have made a Lady List-- but women really loss their appeal once they start lossing their teeth. But, Betty White, you're just waiting in the wing to accept that award, and you know it.

1 comment:

  1. I didn't know Marlon Brando was dead either! Crazy.

    ReplyDelete