The California State Fair: People Watching that Moves You!

California has a massive state fair, so massive that just being a state fair isn't enough. Every year it has to have a theme. This year's theme was "Fun That Moves You", which seemed pretty unnecessary because as far as I'm concerned, no one I know actually goes to the state fair for 'fun'. We go for two main things, to eat so much food that we nearly die, and to judge strangers as they eat so much food that they almost die.

So, with our agenda set, we started out for the California State Fair on six dollars night. We were hoping cheap ticket night would attach prime people-watching material, only to find out that people go to the California State Fair not just to see, but to be seen. I was deeply disappointed by the amount of updos, and sleek dresses. Don't get me wrong, there was plenty of XXL Micky Mouse shirts and fanny packs to go around, but I wasn't wading ankle deep in dirty screaming children. Wait. Am I complaining about that right now?

On to the food. I don't remember where I first heard this, but I've had a lot of people tell me that no one should eat more than two hot dogs a month. I didn't know why, but I figured, since everyone seemed to know it, so it must be true. I found an article online that said eating a hot dog is the equivalent to smoking a cigarette. I guess it makes sense; you tend to really crave both when you're stressed out, and if you have one at a kid's party, you're instantly racked with guilt. The American Institute for Cancer Research produced a study that suggested eating a hot dog a day could increase your chance of colon cancer by over 20%. All that being said, I really, really wanted a hot dog.

And they're not hard to find at a state fair. But I didn't want some plain jane chili dog, or a hot dog on a stick. This was the State Fair. I needed something special. Like a hot dog wrapped in a doughnut. 

Yeah. A maple glazed doughnut cut in half and stuffed with a hot dog for $5.75. That was exactly what I was looking for. As we were ordering, a little girl came up behind us and read the sign "'Doughnut Dog?' GROSS!" and then ran away. I feel like that was fate giving me one last chance to turn back, but the food truck guy had already gone out back to get the doughnut out of his trailer, so I felt obligated to stay.

Seen here, being modeled by Mike, it was actually a pretty good dog, but the mix of frosting and  tubed meat was kind of gross. And the doughnut, which was probably fried early in the morning, was extremely stale by 7pm.

Here is a close up of the Doughnut Hot Dog. I'm still struggling with what we would have topped it with. The options of yellow mustard or ketchup sounded too gross to try. As we were eating this, I couldn't help feeling like we were being watched. And judged.