Oh, Schlitz. You caught me.

So, in honor of the 4th of July, here's a not-so-bad beer review:

To be fair, there is very little that is mass produced, with the exception of hot dogs and BK Mocha Joe, that isn't terrible. So when I find a beer that is distributed nationwide that it even mildly drinkable, I celebrate it as a victory.

 

Schlitz is doing its best to cash in on it's own vintage mystique, going as far as to using an old picture of Playboy's Miss December 1968, Cynthia Myers, as their mascot. Who, just for reference, passed away last year at the age of sixty-one. That's right, their advertising angle is so old, it's literally dead. Schlitz's slogan, which hasn't changed in over 100 years, is "The beer that made Milwaukee famous", but could just as easily be, "The beer that you associate with old people."

Or is that just what they WANT you to think? This isn't a new trend for Pabst Brewing Company. They pretend their market is old men, but in actuality, its young men who dress like old men. I'm talking about hipsters. Finally, something that will match my maroon knitted beanie cap...

Although you should probably just drink it straight from the bottle, the pour has a clear, bright yellow color and very lacy, lingering head. With an alcohol content of 4.6%, this American Adjunct Lager has very little about it that is unlikable. That being said, it is also highly unremarkable. Its not all that refreshing; I wouldn't crave one after yard work or anything. But that's okay, hipsters don't do yard work. And it's lack of excitement plays right into the hipster mentality. 


You're drinking it. Its not great or anything, its just, you know, whatever. 


Now, I'm not a professional by any means, but THAT should be Schlitz's next official slogan...