"Its not a beer." The Bloody Caesar

Thank you to Steph and Tim for introducing us to a beverage we otherwise would have never had an opportunity to try.

Breaking the rules a little bit here. This is not a beer and its not bad. But it was super special, so I wanted to write about it anyway. 

Also known as a 'Bloody Caesar', the Caesar was invented in Alberta in 1969, designed as a signature beverage for what later became the Westin Hotel chain. MOTT's Clamato Caesar calls their beverage "Canada's Cocktail", and they mean it: Canadians consume more than 350 million glasses for Caesar a year.

So this is MOTT's canned version of the vodka beverage which is apparently so wildly popular Canada, but I had never even heard of. To be fair, I'm sure that could be said of 90% of the things that are wildly popular in Canada. Without a little investigating, Clamato Caesar could be confused for Budweiser's Clamato beer, but its a vodka beverage, so unlike a Bud Clamato there is no lacing, and no carbonation upon pouring, no gross beer. It didn't taste like blood in my mouth at all; Its more like a juice. It has a smooth spicy flavor that coats the mouth-- in a good way FINALLY- with no bitter aftertaste. I can see why this could be considered a breakfast beverage, or a hangover cure*. It's like a Bloody Mary with balls.  

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We attempted to garnish it with the traditional celery and lime (although where the HELL are Canadians getting limes?!?) but they were more of an ocular hazard than than anything. 

Apparently there is a bacon version that is REAL nasty, but this is nothing but nice.  One of my favorite reviews of the bacon version comes from The Thrillist. Check it out, there's an excellent face that brings back memories of The Beer That Shall Not Be Named. And please, someone send me one so I can try it.

* I read an article that said tomato juice helps the body absorb aspirin faster, so science says: Drink Up, You Drunk Slob!

SHOT, the gateway beer

Why do I do this? I probably ask myself this most often when I am about to try a new beer. Its not just about grossing myself out; what interests me is the marketing; who the brewers are vs. who they're trying to be perceived as. I found SHOT EYE FOR AN I at GOBM for 5.99/12pk, so let's review.

First of all, I don't have any idea what "EYE FOR AN I" even means, I don't even want to go there. Let's just all agree that it doesn't make any sense, and move on. Aside from that little head scratcher, the box boasts all sorts of things, "This Ain't Your Dad's Beer"; "Premium" neither statement seems to be based on any reality. SHOT beer, according to a 2013 press release, is being marketed to young adults, 21 - 35 who want to drink, but are not ready to drink the hoppy, craft brews everyday. Its a gateway beer. This is the opposite marketing strategy to beers like Schlitz or PBR, where they're relying very heavily on nostalgia for 'cool factor'. This beer is hoping you'll drink it because it looks new and different. But unfortunately, the design is terrible. It looks like a Halloween beer, black and red label, with a sort of "I'm looking at you through the keyhole of the attic, where I've been kept hostage for the past 11 years" eyeball stamped all over the place. FOR NO REASON. Either they spent way too much time focus grouping this, or none at all. 

If you visit their website (good luck finding it) you will find very little about the beer, actually nothing about the beer, but TONS of opportunities to invest in the company. It reads like a timeshare pitch.

Pours nearly flat.No lacing. It calls itself a Pilsner, but its really just another American Adjunct, and like most American Adjuncts, I suggest NOT pouring into a glasses, so you can avoid having to smell it. Sweet, in a bad way, but it doesn't linger in the mouth very long. Just drink it quickly, is sweetens as it warms. 

There is apparently a "Shot Lyte" which is marketed toward women. I can't wait to see THAT at my local bargain grocery store...

Not terrible. Solid C.

The Bad Beer Blogger Blogs Again!!!

First, it was hard to find new bad beers to blog about, then I was lazy, then I was afraid to try new bad beers, then I was lazy again. But now there are a bunch of new beers that look terrible, and I'm interested again. 

Today's bad beer blog is full of 4-for-1 badness.  I present you with:

Tap Room No. 21 - The Gang

A 12 pack purchased for 8 dollars, consisting of four different brews. Remember that baking trick that people do around Christmas, where they make sugar cookie dough, and then they divide it up into small batches, and doctor up the dough so it looks like they've actually made four completely different kinds of cookies? Well, Tap Room No 21 did that with beer. They offer 8 varieties, all of which are pretty much the same. 

Tap Room No 21 is trying desperately to cash in on people's recent interest in Prohibition, suggesting that they were somehow involved. It large letters at the bottom of their website it reads, "Celebrating the Repeal of Prohibition Dec_1933". See what they did there? It APPEARS as if they're saying they were founded in 1933, in reality, they appeared on the scene around 2007, and are distributed by World Brews, the same company responsible for Caballo, Goldmine, Kodiak Ridge Lager, and other countless crimes against humanity. 

Because I do not want to sit here and describe each of these very similar beers for you, I am going to choose the worst. Without question, the worst of the four is the India Pale Ale. It is the worst example of an IPA I have ever tasted. I am tempted to say this beer was mislabeled. It was never meant to be an IPA, it was suppose to be some mixture of pond water and the spit of 100 alcoholics.  

The pour was amber colored, moderately carbonated. It smells like a sweet beer, not like hops at all. The taste was a miserable disappointment, but not a surprise. Thickly coats the mouth with sweet, syrupy beer. A few sips later, it went down the sink. 

Overall, I'd give it a D, because it was truly undrinkable, and not at all worth purchasing. As an IPA it is a solid F.