Zeedonka donk.

It's been ages since I made bad choices, So I bought a 4 back of beer for $4.99 because it had a zebra on the bottle. I didn't notice before I brought it home that it was a vanilla pale ale. Never had one before? Thats because they're not real. THAT'S NOT A THING. Either Beer Advocate or  doesn't even have a review of it yet.

Founded in 2010, Ass Kisser Ales are bottled and distributed out of San Jose, California (or maybe Ukiah? idk). At 5% ABV Zeedonka is the lightest of the five beers Ass Kisser offers. AKA promise a small, family owned brewery that uses high quality ingredients and quality craft brewery. And so does Coors, so I'm skeptical.

I was unable to find any reviews online that I really trusted were legit, Except from This is Why I'm Drunk which was a blog I just found, and I LOVE IT.





Served very cold, the pour had moderate carbonation, no lacing, very minimal head and it smelled like a candle. No-- it smelled like, if someone just smoked pot at their mom's house, and then took vanilla scented bathroom spray and just went to town. That's the smell.

It actually would have been not a terrible beer, but the taste of perfume being sprayed into my mouth with every little sip is overwhelming. Larger sips are like taking a bite out of decorative soap.

I'm actually pretty disappointed, its got the earmarks of a bad beer, with its cheeky advertising and limited information, but I took a chance on it. It didn't have the classic rotten vegetable flavor or sweet, sticky lacing, so I have hope for the brewery overall.

Verdict? Bad beer, but I would be really interested in trying their other styles.

SHOT, the gateway beer

Why do I do this? I probably ask myself this most often when I am about to try a new beer. Its not just about grossing myself out; what interests me is the marketing; who the brewers are vs. who they're trying to be perceived as. I found SHOT EYE FOR AN I at GOBM for 5.99/12pk, so let's review.

First of all, I don't have any idea what "EYE FOR AN I" even means, I don't even want to go there. Let's just all agree that it doesn't make any sense, and move on. Aside from that little head scratcher, the box boasts all sorts of things, "This Ain't Your Dad's Beer"; "Premium" neither statement seems to be based on any reality. SHOT beer, according to a 2013 press release, is being marketed to young adults, 21 - 35 who want to drink, but are not ready to drink the hoppy, craft brews everyday. Its a gateway beer. This is the opposite marketing strategy to beers like Schlitz or PBR, where they're relying very heavily on nostalgia for 'cool factor'. This beer is hoping you'll drink it because it looks new and different. But unfortunately, the design is terrible. It looks like a Halloween beer, black and red label, with a sort of "I'm looking at you through the keyhole of the attic, where I've been kept hostage for the past 11 years" eyeball stamped all over the place. FOR NO REASON. Either they spent way too much time focus grouping this, or none at all. 

If you visit their website (good luck finding it) you will find very little about the beer, actually nothing about the beer, but TONS of opportunities to invest in the company. It reads like a timeshare pitch.

Pours nearly flat.No lacing. It calls itself a Pilsner, but its really just another American Adjunct, and like most American Adjuncts, I suggest NOT pouring into a glasses, so you can avoid having to smell it. Sweet, in a bad way, but it doesn't linger in the mouth very long. Just drink it quickly, is sweetens as it warms. 

There is apparently a "Shot Lyte" which is marketed toward women. I can't wait to see THAT at my local bargain grocery store...

Not terrible. Solid C.