I Hate Women.

Some of the most successful bouts of self-loathing I have ever experienced were brought on by logic-less comments made by women. This post is devoted to a few of the women I work with.

Most people would say their weight fluctuates, it seems natural enough. Every year I gain and lose the same 10 or so pounds and try not to think that much of it. I mean, I'm over worked, and underpaid, and stressed about my future and global warming and the nation's economy, -- I really don't need to add another insecurity to that list. That being said however, I work with women, and it is a well known fact that women will not rest until you are crippled by insecurities about every aspect of your life.

Yesterday, I was chatting with the ladies who work next door, and I mentioned that we ate dinner at my boyfriend's parent's house last night. The older of the two women said "And how old are you??" and when I told her she curled up her lip, "And you're STILL mooching off your parents??" Because if women ever find even a kernel of doubt in you, they will put heat on it until it explodes. And remember that.

That same day, the co-worker whom I work most closely with asked me what I did this weekend.
FACT: When a woman asks you what you did this weekend, in reality, she doesn't care. She is simply fishing for a topic with which she will make you feel like shit about. And I know this, but for whatever reason, I excitedly told her about the new restaurant I found with my friends, and the squash soup I had there. She immediately stated, "If you keep eating all that milk you're going to get chubby." Milk. I'm being advised to avoid milk in my formative years because it is MILK that will make me fat. Yes, I'm sure it's the milk. Not the beers, or the chips, or the hot wings, or the heavy dinners. Its milk.

On that same thread, a few days ago, I was joking with the doctor about how poor I am. I told her about how my boyfriend and I eat rice with every meal (nearly true,-- at least five nights a week) and last week we were busted by our friends eating just rice with hot sauce for dinner (true. and embarrassing). -- I'll admit that this time, it was MY mistake to share that information; I should know better. Women have notoriously bad senses of humor. She snipped at me, "You shouldn't be eating rice at all. You'll get all thicker in your middle."

Thick-er. Great.