Coming out

Recently I have started telling more people I want to be a comedian, I'm noticing a trend in their reactions. Along with the obligational, "You'll be great at that!" which I would receive regardless of what I told them I wanted to do with my life (Teacher? You're a natural! Lawyer? You'd be excellent! Zoo keeper? The job market couldn't be better!), I was surprised by the amount of people who told me they'd always known I'd be a comedian.

Always known? Honestly? I only realized it like, a year ago. If they always knew, why couldn't they have told me? This must be what it feels like to realize you're gay; then immediately realize you're the last one to have figured it out.

Conflicted

I love reality television, but I hate high pitched screaming.

Sicko

So, it amazes me that in a matter of a few days, I could go from perfectly healthy, so healthy that I would rub my healthiness in the faces of sick people, to half dead with some sort of monster cold. And no, I haven't ever heard of karma.

Being a sick person has a few benefits though. Its the only time where you can be visibly inebriation at work, and your co-workers will pity you. You can wander around a grocery store in your pajamas and its almost justified. But aside from those two things, there are no benefits.

I can say without a doubt Nyquil is the best cold medicine out there. Other than tasting like a mix of gum drops and Jager, its perfect. I've been a walking meth lab for two days now, and nothing works as well as Nyquil. Its the night-time, sniffling, sneezing, kill-anything-that-moves cold medicine. Its what you take when you want to just sleep until its over.

Valentine's Day

Oh, Valentine's Day. The day when we gorge ourselves on cheap chocolate, or occasionally, really expensive chocolate that was brought into the office for someone else but you take a little anyway and hope they wont find out it was you. A day where we're obligated to tell our significant others that we love them, while also making them feel guilty for not being as romantic as that other couple you know.

Its also my half-birthday, which means that, although Valentine's Day isn't my favorite holiday, February 14th is still one of the most important days of the year. So, while you may be sick from waxy milk chocolate and sappy cards, and bitter from lack-luster semi-romantic gestures, at least I'm here to brighten your day.

<3   .... its a heart.

And you said there wasn't anything on TV..

It has come to my attention that The Nanny is back on television. What the hell were you thinking, 1995? The only thing that could have made that show more grating is if Gilbert Godfrey played opposite Fran Drescher.  Even on mute, the show is offensive.

Thanks TVLand, for dragging that dead horse out to beat.

Would you like Paper, or Shame?

I went to pick up a few things for dinner today, and at check-out the cashier asked for my ID, and then asked me if I was a student. Now, I'm standing there, a 20-something, in a shirt that is covered in cat hair, buying cheap beer at noon on a Thursday, with an out-of-state ID, so I don't exactly blame the woman for thinking I was a student. But I still felt like saying: No, I'm not a student, I'm just an adult who doesn't have her shit together. But I told her I was, because college students get a 5% discount. I might not have my shit together, but I know a deal when I see it.